oops

Sometime between July 15th and now, my life got crazy. I haven't blogged in so long that I almost forgot about it. Here is what has happened in the past two months:

In July our group went to Houston, and it was such a great experience. The Lord really taught us about unconditional love. We got to work with Patrick, one of my Pepperdine friends, who was interning at Impact in Houston. So so cool to see my HYG and Pepp worlds collide. I was so nervous about leading the trip that the night before, I literally made little 3x5 notecards/ cheat sheets about all the things I needed to be on top of for each day of the trip! Anyway, we made it and I felt like organization was definitely my number one strength that paid off. I got to know a lot of my youth group kids a lot better, which was awesome! They were and still are such an inspiration to me. One of our girls' grandfathers passed away during the week, and she had to fly home early. That was really sad, but she was such a trooper and I look up to her so much. Everyone was so supportive of each other all week and I really saw God using HYG as well as the kids in Houston.

The day after we got home from Houston, I taught class that morning and then that afternoon we had the annual photo scavenger, which is super fun but it was a joke because we were all just exhausted.

That week, we lost a friend. It is still super hard for me to write about it, and it feels so weird just inserting it into this blog as just something that happened in the past 2 months. Liz grew up at Highland with me, and was absolutely just the most angelic person I have ever known. We went to preschool together and our brothers' little kid basketball games together and later in high school we went on two mission trips to Paragould, AR and New Orleans (two of the most important weeks of my life) together. On her way from Memphis to Nashville, Liz was killed in a car accident. It was just terribly tragic and I don't know what else to say about it. God has shown us all signs of himself in all of this since then, but something like that, especially in the first few days, just hurts and makes me feel truly sad.

The next day, we had planned to go camping and white water rafting in Ocoee, TN. While it seemed so trivial after such a heavy week, I am glad we still went. It was a great chance to get away for a bit with the senior high kids and kind of unpack everything that was happening. It was one of the weirder situations I have ever been in to be grieving the death of my lifelong friend but also be a mentor and support to the kids in the youth group who had also known and loved her.

Before we knew it July was gone and it was August. We took a day mission trip to Paragould to help out at the children's home. I talked to a girl named Ainsley who I had met there in 2005. The only thing she remembered about our group was a precious girl named Liz who had given her testimony and talked about her family... nearly brought me and Thomas to tears. Pretty cool to be able to share that with our church family when we got home, though, and a powerful reminder that God used her life in big and important ways.

Just days later, Hannah my best friend from Pepperdine arrived in Memphis, the day after I ended my internship. I showed her around a bit and it was so cool to share my home and family with her.

They had a big intern goodbye party for me and Chet, which was a huge blessing and made me so so full of joy and gratitude that I got to be at Highland this summer, work with some of the best people I've ever known, and be a part of some teenagers' lives, and hopefully have said something that will stick with at least a few of them.

Best part of the summer:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H5EfFbpDoe4

Hannah and I drove cross-country to Malibu, which is a completely different blog post in and of itself, and I have been going full speed since then!

Here's to another blog post, maybe this weekend, that is more current.

Love to everyone

rach

houston in 2 days!

So, on Saturday morning I am leaving for my Houston, TX mission trip, which I am in CHARGE of! Probably the biggest responsibility of my life. Pray for us, that God would use us, and that he would use to me to help our teenagers see how God is showing up in their lives and in their work. It's going to be awesome.

DAY 4: Write about what you imagine paradise to be like.

I started off by ignoring/delaying this prompt, because it is such a hard one! And then I got busy, and never ever did it. I am on day four of thirty and I started this like two months ago. Oops.

Paradise to me would be anywhere, preferably next to a body of water, where I would be surrounded by the people I love. It could be camping at a lake or in a little shack by the pacific ocean or a cute old house near the gulf. Or in the hills, like east tennessee or rwanda. Preferably a combination of all of the above. I would probably take naps in hammocks every day and eat chocolate covered strawberries. In my paradise I would be married to my best friend and giddy and in love. I would constantly be growing and learning. I would always feel so close to Jesus that my love for Him would give me butterflies in my stomach. Money wouldn't exist. It would be about 70 degrees, and October. I would work hard and play hard, and visit Africa and the Nile, and love it so much that I decided to move there, where my OTHER paradise would be living in a village there, and I would be fluent in the language, and be able to grow to love people who seem so different than me. Also, it could only be paradise to me if it were paradise to other people too, including global peace and more fairly distributed resources. Duh. I would have a job that I felt good at and that needed me. It might be a lot like hairy lemon island, in uganda:

workcamp recap

(click on it to watch it on youtube for a better picture)

:)

"normal" week

Camp Highland recap:

(click on it to watch it on youtube for a better picture)

First of all, I feel like I could write a ten page blog every single day, but I just don't. I feel like such a whiney baby when I say I'm tired all the time, especially after visiting my friends in Teach for America training this weekend! What a JOKE! I've been home from camp for a week and a half, and it's so tempting to say that they have just been "normal" HYG weeks... but when you think about what we've been doing, they are so very far from being normal weeks! Last week was just a good week.

The previous Friday, we'd gotten home from camp. Sunday morning I had my 8th grade class, and taught about James out of chapter 3 about taming the tongue. Trying to illustrate how powerful the tongue/words can be, I asked them what the most meaningful thing people had said to them. One of them said that last summer, one of our seniors told her that she looked up to her (when she was in 7th grade). It's amazing how things like that stick with us! Anyway, I thought it was the best class that I've had so far. I am so self-aware and know when it's not going well and most of the time I hate it and am embarrassed but don't know how to recover. Then, most of the time I realize that maybe I am a little hard on myself and try to let it go. I pretty much just deny compliments that I don't agree with, too, which I guess is dumb. I try really hard not to give empty/made up words of affirmation because it makes the real ones more valuable...I guess I should take other people at their word, though. Either way, it went well that week. Also, out preacher opened his sermon that Sunday with a quote from Rodney Stark, a sociologist of religion that I know way too much about (I have blogged about him before...embarrassing) and met over the phone last semester! That was awesome because I was just sitting there trying not to look excited like a big soc nerd. That afternoon we had a Houston meeting and then went to Putt-putt. It was pretty fun just because I got to spend so much time with everyone!

Monday night I worked in the office, then hung out with Annaleigh (wonderful friend I grew up with in the youth group) and we watched the Bachelorette...obv. It was good that I spent the night with her because she lives closer to the church building, and I had to be there at 8 AM on Tuesday for Power Hour (our Memphis sidewalk VBS type activity). Can you believe that SIXTY FOUR teenagers showed up at our building at 8 AM to go serve inner city kids? It was a great morning. Usually we send out two groups: one to a day camp at Raleigh community church, and one to a neighborhood in Raleigh. The neighborhood group can be really frustrating, especially with 25 volunteers, when we try to round up kids, often only finding 3-5. The day camp is pretty consistent, though, and this week I went with the group that went there. It was fun and we at lunch at the mall afterward. After that, since I was already disgusto sweaty, I decided to go to the gym since it had been like 2 weeks, which was a gross amount of time since I had been going almost every day this summer! That was a good idea but maybe I should have just taken a nap. Tuesday night we had a Tuesday Night Devotional (TND) at Courtney's house. Would you believe that EIGHTY FIVE teenagers showed up at someone's house to worship God??? Thomas, who just graduated, spoke and did an amazing job.

Wednesday night we worked in the office and Chet spoke at class that night. He talked about John 14:6 (since our summer theme is, after all, "that's what Jesus said") and how Jesus is the way (the way out, the way in, the way through, etc.) he is such a gifted speaker and did an awesome job. On Thursday in the office we just worked on TIME trip (Houston) stuff. After work I went to Sarah Beth's house with the Stafford and Clemens twins and Mason and Kristen, and eventually we made our way to the movie theater with the Chadwell twins, Philip, Sarah, Allie, and a few others. We saw Toy Story 3. It was AMAZING! I pretty much just hate going to the movies, but I loved it and it was so much fun. Afterward, we kinda hadn't eaten dinner, and it was like 11 PM, so we went to Huey's, were "that" annoying group of teenagers, and had so much fun.

Instead of having Monday off like the rest of the world, our office was closed on Friday. I finally got to sleep in, and then that afternoon I drove about 2 hours down to the glorious city of Cleveland, Mississippi. Thiersten, who I went to Africa with last summer, and my good friend Blake are both down there currently, teaching and learning to be teachers, and will be teaching somewhere in the Mississippi Delta region for the next two years with TFA. I honestly cannot express how proud I am to know them. Saying the words "you are my hero" is just not enough. On Friday night Thiersten and I drove an hour to a movie theater (haha) and saw Grown Ups, aka the worst movie ever, the only good part was seeing Adam Sandler play basketball and knowing where he got his skills (he practices at Pepperdine).

Saturday we "explored" "downtown Cleveland" which was a joke but very cute and quaint. I never would have thought in a million years that I would be meeting up with Thiersten Rose in the middle of Mississippi. Especially since last summer in Uganda was the first place we had ever met, and then seeing each other in Malibu felt completely out of context, and then now here we were in the Mississippi. Those three places are just not normal places. Haha. It was great to see her though. So good to see Blake too! I'm so proud of him!!! On Saturday, he followed me back up to Memphis, and that night I got to hang out with him, Patrick, and Austin (and some other TFA people who came to Memphis for the weekend). Pat has such a great apartment downtown for hosting people, so that was fun. The best part was that Blake got to come see Highland on Sunday morning! For that matter, Patrick hadn't even seen our new building, and neither had Austin. I thought it would be a little much for them to sit in on my class, haha, so they went to the college class, but anyway, worship was great and Josh preached, and he is one of my favorite people ever. His sermon was so great that as soon as they post it on the website, I will share it. The four of us went to lunch with my parents afterward, and then it was "bye until next time."

This week has been similar to last week. Power Hour was great, TND was awesome (five teenagers shared verses and thoughts that have kept them connected to God since camp), and at class tonight Chet and I kind of tag teamed it. We talked about childlike faith and being imitators of God. He was great and I thought my part went ok. We went to get ice cream after though. Yay! Also, I got a text from Kaitlyn (Pepp friend), who just got home from Buenos Aires!! Yay!!! I miss my Pepperdine friends so much, and just can't get enough Zoey 101. I sometimes can't believe that I get to go back and live in Malibu again! Life is too good.

This job has been better than I could have imagined! Like I said, it can be so tiring, but it's weird because it's all fun stuff. It has pretty much consumed my life this summer. I expected that, because I've been around for a lot of HYG summers, and I really didn't expect to have a lot of time to hang out with people or pursue/resurrect my old high school friendships or go on dates or any of that. It has lived up to my expectations in that aspect. It's like all I do. I love it, but this weekend, driving down to MS and then coming back up and hanging out with the guys, was such a good escape! Being an "adult" figure obviously is teaching me many small lessons every second. You never think teachers or interns or youth ministers or parents or any people like that ever have any problems or issues of their own, outside of their job. It even kind of blew my mind when one of the DJs on FM100 the other morning said that on Valentine's Day of 2004, she found her boyfriend cheating on her in her bed with another girl. First of all, I agree with the other DJ that "who the hell cheats on Jill Bucko," and second of all, it just made her a real person to me for a sec, and that must have been absolutely HORRIBLE to have to go in to work the next morning and act like a normal person! What a joke! I mean, life is pretty smooth sailing for me right now, but when I am worried or concerned or discouraged or disheartened about something, I am so close to the youth groupers in age that I totalllly know that if I have a bad attitude, they are probably thinking, "why is she such a ...!?" because I have been that hypercritical teenager!! and sometimes still am! It's such a weird age. I have spent 99% of my time as a 20 year old basking in the coolness of the idea of maturity. It's such a strange and embarrassing place to be, but that's just me right now.

Another thing I am learning is that it's ok to be myself. This seems like such a little thing, especially from me, since after all I am known for saying "I...love myself!" in one of my speeches in COM 180 freshman year. Oops. But, I am JUST now learning that people will accept me for who I am! I feel like that line in Juno. "I try really hard, actually."

It's been so good though.

I am so sleeping right now. 1 and a half weeks til our group leaves for Houston, crazy! Time flies when...

camp rave

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=590299977661&ref=mf

Hannah, this made me think of you because both of us would have/did totally avoid participating it. But either way, totally a camp highland classic moment that I wanted to share.

camp highland 10

Hey guys! Friday night I got home from camp. I don't really know how to start except to just tell you all the amazing things that happened. First of all, you should know that I Love Camp. It is one of my favorite things in the world. This was my tenth year to go! I joke about not liking fun things, but camp is just so solid and fun and has only gotten better every single year. Here's how it went down.

On Sunday, first of all I taught my 8th grade James class that morning, and during service, two of our teenagers, Nick and Ethan, got baptized! So awesome to witness. After church I went home and had lunch with my family for Father's Day, and then headed out to camp to get ready! We were so so happy to be back at Camp Cordova (Now called "the grove at red lake" ... what a joke), where we have had camp forever. For the past two years, it has been closed down and we've had to go to a camp in Imboden, Arkansas. Ha! Good grief we just love camp cordova and have so many memories there. It was so so good to be back. The campers' parents dropped them off at about 5. After dinner, we had our first devotional led by one of our dads. He introduced our theme for the week: "Re." Throughout the week we would focus on the ideas of Reveal, React, Restore, Remain, and Reflect. We tied these words into following the command in Micah 6:8. Also, can I just say that the worship at camp highland is one of the most powerful and genuine things! So amazing.

After worship, all the campers divided up into their teams. Each camper is put on a team varying in age from 4th-12th grade, and each team is led by a rising senior. Being a senior leader is such a big deal and definitely sets the tone for that class being leaders in the youth group throughout the next year. Once they divided up into their teams, Chet and I were in charge of leading several team bonding/competitive games to kick off the week-long point competition. They start off by having to make up a team name, designing a banner, and creating a team cheer. They are all hilarious (the team my friend Scott and I were assigned to be the. "adult" supervisors for was named the Gtown Protein Shakes and was led by a very intense football player at Germantown high school). There were relays, apple stacking contests, keeping a balloon in the air, stacking cupcakes on your forehead, and other minute to win it type games. It was so much fun. The first night of camp is definitely the most chaotic but it went pretty well and everyone had fun! At the end of the night the youth group and children's ministry split up- HYG goes up to the lodge (where the 11th and 12th graders stay) to hang out and have snacks and pretty much rage.

The schedj for each day was pretty much like this. 8:00- breakfast. 9:00- team sports (teams play different sports each day against different teams). 10:30- Bible class. The morning Bible classes are split up between guys and girls. I taught 9th grade girls in the morning. It went so well! Such a blessing! Being in a smaller setting (12 girls) anddd it being all girls I think really boosted my confidence and made me much more sure of myself as a teacher. We had some good discussions and the theme of the week was really relatable for all of them. It was cool to get to know this group of girls too because I haven't spent a ton of time with them. Three of them, Abbey, Morgan, and Chesney, got baptized at the end of the week! That was such a special and mind blowing moment to witness.

Also, we were able to share some really impactful words of aff via warm fuzzies (the 'encouragement cards' we all do at camp). This is probably the first time I really felt like I was making a difference!

After class we had lunch, then SHAFT. Oh shaft oh shaft. It actually went better than I expected. We got Hannah, one of our super energetic and hilarious seniors, to lead the songs, and she loved it and the campers loved it! That was a win win. We played more games that involved the whole camp which I think is a step up from past years that just included a few volunteers each day at shaft. People were pied in the face, people had to eat baby food, we played the Dating Game (4 guys vying for the heart of our beautiful Lipscomb recruiter, Katy) (she picked the 5^th grader), and of course some totally nast shakes of the day. Still obvs not my favorite part of the day, but it turned out fine! We even shaved off Chet’s beard!!

After shaft, we had Bible classes with each entire class. Chet and I co-taught the 9th grade guys and girls. The afternoon class is more of an active learning class. Really, really powerful activities that helped them grow a lot closer to one another and learn more about God! After that, the afternoon is basically free time. Around 4:15 they met with their teams to practice for Wednesday night’s lipsync competition. The theme this year was 80s. The team I was helping with, led by Ryan, performed Livin on a Prayer and they did awesome (I am pretty sure they would have won if he hadn’t shaken Bisquick powder (supposed to look like protein powder) all over the stage. Come onnnn.

After practice, we had dinner, powerful devos every night, and amazing worship. After that we had different activities each night. Monday we played 3's a crowd, a camp highland CLASSIC. I love that game so much. Friends who know I hate games: I Love this game!! Tuesday night we had night swimming with the youth group in the pool. Wednesday night was the Lipsync competition! It is always so fun and hilarious, especially when the shy kids and teenagers go all out and just have fun (Garrett). All of the teams did such a great job.

The tradition at camp highland is on Thursday night to have the devotional and response time in an amphitheater out by the lake. It has been the most powerful night of the year for most of the years I have been alive! Mostly because afterward, we all go to the pool and have several baptisms, of kids who decided that week to make that decision, kids who have been studying with parents and mentors for a really long time, and kids who have known for a while that they wanted to do it AT camp. It is so special having that experience at the pool because each person gets to be surrounded by everyone, and circled by their closest friends, being brought into the family in the arms of so many people who love them. It creates such an amazing memory! I mean, how often do you get to see 19 people get baptized one after the other? That is the happiest thing that I could ever ever imagine.

Here's the thing. It started RAINING. A lot. A lot a lot. Donnie had spent hours getting ready outside, setting up a stage and sound equipment and lights. A group of teenagers had been practicing a profoundly powerful skit all week and were ready to do it outside. RAINING. Storming. Ruined?? Satan definitely had our number. For a minute, everyone was so bummed. We ended up having it inside. It was SO not ruined. Actually it turned out so so much better than we ever could have imagined.

Buster and Donnie spoke, we had an absolutely amazing time of worship, and got to watch the skit that they had worked so hard on. John, Katy, Farron, Randi, Hannah, Mason, Holt, and Bradley did the "Everything" skit. Take it from me, that I don't even like skits, and this was one of the most powerful things I have witnessed!

You may have seen it on youtube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyheJ480LYA) but seeing in person shook all of our worlds. Man, God is so powerful. Also, we had a time of response and the teenagers wrote down things that were creating a walls between them and God, and nailed those pieces of paper to a cross. Afterwards, I got to have some powerful, special, and important conversations with teenagers. Hearing their response to God in their lives was amazing. What a special moment. After at least an hour of fellowshipping and sharing with one another, classes getting together and praying with each other, and getting to pray with individuals, we hoped we would be able to go have the baptisms. It had stopped raining briefly, but was still thundering, and they wouldn't let us get in the pool. Bummed for a second, but we soon learned again that God's plan was way better.

Plan B: we did something we had never done before- walked in a big group, carrying the cross, around the whole camp on the main road up to the lodge. It was awesome. People were holding hands, SINGING, and sharing the burden of the cross with one another. !!!! When we got there, we hung out for a while, and then ended the night all sitting around and sharing how we have seen God and what he has done in our hearts this week. I was blown away by some of the things people said!: "I am usually a pretty conservative worshiper, but when we were singing this week, I wanted to scream." "I feel new." "I never knew God was so powerful until this week." "This is by far the best week of my life." "Committing my life to God was the best decision I have ever made." "God should not love us, but he does." "Nothing else matters besides God, so why do I treat people differently based on what they look like?" "God's love is all that matters." “This week changed every way I think.” Younger kids encouraging older teenagers, senior encouraging and empowering the rest of the youth group, even counselors and college students encouraging the teenagers. Pretty cool.

They decided to instead have the baptisms on Friday afternoon. It rained again. A lot. Even more than Thursday. Satan has our number. But God is bigger. We ended Friday with a slip n slide and at the end of the night, family night with all the parents. We decided to just get everyone to head back to our church building after family night to do the baptisms. We got there. The baptistry broke this week (we joked that the building is brand new but we've already worn out the baptistry- HA). It got fixed on Friday. We weren't supposed to use it for a couple days. We covered it in plastic so the front part wouldn't get wet and did it anyway. 120 minutes, and 19 baptisms! So special. I'll try to post some videos later because I know a lot were taken.

I learned a lot this week! I knew camp was awesome, because it's always been awesome, but I didn't know how it would be on the planning side of it. JUST AS AWESOME. More awesome.

I learned to actively love people, not to wait for them to love me. I learned what it means to act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly. I learned to actively remain in God. Just a special week!

The past six months have definitely not been the easiest when it came to my faith. Somehow everything became dull and serious and concrete and analytical and logical. Covering up my heart with all of those things put together do not leave much room for the Spirit to move and work and do exciting things in my life and fill me with love and awe and wonder and childlike faith. This week God has REvealed himself to me and I will REspond by letting him Restore me, and I will REmain in his love by REflecting and letting him do what he will with me.

Love and miss you all my Pdine friends. I hopefully made 200 kids want to be Waves this week.

wonderful days

Me and co-intern Chet!


I've had so many long days, but so full of such good things! That's how I've felt about basically the whole summer so far, and it is so inspiring to know that this is an actual job that people have! Youth ministry was something that I considered for a second when I was actually in high school, and as soon as I got out, wrote it off as something that I was only interested in because it was like my whole life at the time and I couldn't imagine my life without it! ha! But now that I am seeing more of the behind the scenes/ organizational side of it, and am more drawn to certain aspects of the way the whole thing works as I learn more and more about it.

Pictures of the new Youth Mission (taken by Jess Terry)

One of my responsibilities for the summer has been to plan Sunday night activities for the youth group. Two Sundays ago, we went bowling! I am not awesome at bowling, but it's surprisingly a game that I like (!) and compared to a lot of middle and high schoolers, I am actually pretty good. Ha! That was a fun thing to do and I haven't done it in years!

The Monday after bowling, we started setting up for Memphis Workcamp. White Station church of Christ hosts it ever since Highland moved buildings, but it is directed by Highland. We met on Monday mornings at 8:00 for pump-up songs/games and to meet with our work crews (about 13 kids on each crew, varying ages and churches). We scraped/painted/worked on houses til about 3, and came back together each night for dinner and worship. The camp started Monday night and it was just awesome. 428 teams from 20 churches from 7 states came together and made 64 houses new across Memphis neighborhoods. Praise God for that!!

Workcamp is always such a fun experience because 1. we are not taking God into the Orange Mound community, but revealing him there. 2. teenagers get to meet complete strangers and share God with them. 3. Memphis heat and humidity is just fun. 4. a couple coats of paint can totally transform a house. It is always so neat to see the homeowners' faces when they are so full of pride for their home! So many said how the teenagers were angels sent by God, that they had been praying that He would send someone to paint their houses. So cool. Also, one of my favorite parts is when we all worship together at night and hear amazing speakers! So cool, and definitely a life shaping experience for teenagers serving God by serving people. There were a couple of girls from our youth group on my work crew, so it was great to get to spend time with them! Oh also, I got the chance to get breakfast with Anna Wade one morning before workcamp, which totally made my day!!! She spent second semester studying abroad in Greece, was home for a second, and then spent 3 weeks in Rwanda! What a great connection we have!!!! Oh my goodness. So so good to connect with old friends, if even for an hour, and share life and our maturing worldviews! gah!

The Sunday after workcamp was a busy but fun day. I started out that morning teaching my 8th grade class about James. It is getting a little better, but teaching is definitely my biggest challenge! After church we had meetings for our mission trips. I think I have written that in July I am taking a group of 30 kids (and a couple adults) to Houston to work at a VBS at Impact Church. We are preparing lessons, crafts, puppet shows, songs, games, devotional journals, and more! It is a little crazy trying to focus on 30 kids (big group!) but I am definitely excited about the trip. Over 3/4 of the group have been before, and there are 5 or 6 guys who just graduated from high school and this is their 6th time to go! Even though they have had chances to go other places instead, even Belize! They love it SO much and that makes me even more excited!

After our TIME trip meetings, we had a camp counselor meeting. Everyone knows that Camp is the greatest week of the year! The teenagers have LITERALLY been counting down 51 weeks. I was a "teen counselor" 2 years ago with the 5th graders, but this year I am a legit counselor, and get to be in the nice lodge with the senior girls! Woohoo! It is going to be awesome. Most of my best and most meaningful memories of my life (that took place in this country) happened at camp! It has been a little stressful, personally, preparing for camp in the position of a Bible class teacher, and being in charge of SHAFT. I guess since camp was always such a big deal for me, I feel pressure to make it that good for everyone else who is experiencing it now! But then I remember that I am just a dumb intern and do not have THAT much weight on making or breaking camp! HA! What a joke! Anyway, let me just say that SHAFT stands for super happy action fun time. It happens every day after lunch. We sing VBS songs a la Father Abraham, play dumb games, and have gross eating competitions. Sick! IF you know me at all, you probably know that this is not my favorite thing. It has taught me that my ideal career would never have me in charge of anything fun or funny!

That night, we had a girls swimming party at one of our 10th graders, Chandler's house! Over 30 girls came and we had dinner and swimming and a small devo/prayer time. So special! Love those girls!

This past week was VBS at Highland. The youth group doesn't really have anything to do with it except many of the teenagers volunteer to help out in the different age group classes, transporting them from classrooms to the puppet show to the drama to crafts to snacks, etc! I decided to go two of the nights. First of all let me just say that the puppets are HILARIOUS. I am not kidding. Also, the same people have been doing the puppets' voices since I was a small child. They must have so much fun because they throw in so many jokes that just the adults get. Pretty much the kids just laugh at the dumb stuff. Typical. Haha just kidding. But anyway, "Brother Jay," (my friend Chris Shappley's dad) is the emcee, and the night I went, I was innocently sitting on the floor with my class of super hilarious three year olds, and Cool Ray (one of the puppets) said, "Is Rachel O'Connor in the house?" HAha! What a joke! He had me come up to the front, and all of the puppets sang a song. Chet wasn't there, but the song was written for the two of us. Something along the lines of "they're our favorite youth interns, doo da, doo da, they're our favorite youth interns, oh doo da day. one's a pretty girl, one has a beard, they're our favorite youth interns, oh doo da day." Such a classic. And obviously I love being the center of attention. Haha what?

On Tuesdays our youth group does something called Power Hour. We go to Raleigh and put on a small VBS for neighborhood kids! About 65 kids from Highland showed up (amazing) when we met at the building at 8 AM to prepare. We split up into two groups. I went to a neighborhood where we knocked on doors, gathered kids, and met outside in a grassy park and had songs, games, a lesson about Abraham, a craft, and snacks. Chet's group went to a day camp that was inside Raleigh Community church. Power hour is super fun... and hot. It always amazes me the enthusiasm our youth groupers have, though! I see God so much not only in the precious little kids, but also our compassionate, smart, and loving teenagers.

On Wednesday night after work and before VBS I get to grab dinner with Rebekah (12th), Kristen (11th), Ellie (8th), Katelyn (8th), and Karli (7th). It was awesome!!! I loved it! I ran into several of their parents last night, who thanked me for doing that. What?? It was too much fun and a highlight of my week. Also, without talking too much about it, a bigg lesson that I have learned is to not focus so much/not make the ultimate goal of making people like me. It is seriously not that important. I'm not just talking about this summer, but in general - it's been a good lesson to learn. The ultimate goal is not being liked, but showing people Jesus. Again, not just as an intern, but in the day to day. Ding ding ding! Hi maturity.

Tonight I got to have dinner with Patrick (brother) and catch up. I haven't seen him in like 2 weeks! What!? We are such busy grown ups! Anyway, it's so good to have my big brother in town! He's so cool! We ate at S.O.B. (South of Beale) down town and afterward I pulled over and watched the sun go down because it was just beautiful. I've said it before and I'll say it again that the sky just amazes me, and I cannot get over how God paints a different sunset every. single. day. and gives it to me/us as a gift. How cool!

I was hoping to get to drive down to Cleveland, Mississippi today to see Thiersten and maybe Blake, two of the best people I know!! who are in the middle of Teach for America training! Obviously I have been packing for camp and doing random important things all day and didn't get to, but really hope I will be able to at some point this summer. I am soo proud of them!

Also, Hannah Perrin and I just solidified plans for her to come visit me in Memphis in August, and then we are going to drive out to Malibu together! IT WILL BE AMAZING!

Also, it is 11:30 PM, I have to finish planning my James class for the morning, and am leaving for camp in the afternoon, and will not be getting much sleep in the next week! :) not to mention I have already written 239087 pages. Love everyone! Please pray:

For my Pepp friend Sandy who is really sick in the hospital in London!

For me to have confidence/not worry/let God speak through me/relax about teaching

For kids and teenagers this week to be able to focus, leave behind distractions, have fun, be safe, build relationships, create unity, learn things about God, be able to apply what they learn to their lives

For all the directors in charge of camp

For kids and teenagers thinking about getting baptized this week

For everyone including me to invest in not only the people who are easy to love

Everything to go smoothly overall

So. much. love. Talk to y'all in a week!

recent happenings

Oh what's up Friday night! Having a "real job" is real funny because at night all I want to do is just sit around and then go to sleep! It feels so great to have productive days though.

On Tuesday-Thursday, I was in Pensacola, FL with the 7th through 9th graders. Super quick trip (1 full day at the beach) but so much fun! I haven't been to Florida since my freshman year in high school and I forgot how fun it is. I can't count the number of remarks from parents and my youth ministers about how I must be comparing it to Malibu (the joke of the summer is that I am a snob...please) but in reality, Florida beaches are great (soft white sand and WARM water that you can swim around in all day if you want). Whatever, obviously I love California, but Florida was great. And, luckily we made it there and left before the oil spill reached. It is so so sad and I can't even imagine its implications for the next several years.

Anyway, the middle schoolers are hilarious! Oh man. I have seriously written so many stories down that I'll have to tell y'all in person or over the phone. They say the funniest things, have a really big faith, are incredibly innocent, and, for the most part, treat each other really well. I spent most of my time with the girls- getting to know guys in the youth group who I didn't already know (or whose siblings I didn't already know) might be one of my big challenges. But the girls are super fun, especially the new 7th graders. I had a really weird moment of realization one day at lunch when I was sitting at a table with 5 7th graders and they all ordered off the kids' menu, which was for kids 12 and under, and they totally could, because they were 12. TWELVE. They aren't teenagers. The weird thing: Neither am I!!!!!! What??? It was a really weird moment. Think of all the things we have done (realized, experienced, been hurt, learned from mistakes, gained, etc) in ages 13-19? I can't help but laugh when I think about it!! What a JOKE!! They're not quite sure what to do with me (pretty sure there was at least one "yes ma'am") but it is pretty fun to try to relate to them. There is never an awkward silence because they all love to talk and tell stories about anything and everything. A few 9th graders were checking out my wallet and looking at my license, saw that it expired when I turn 21, and the conversation quickly turned to them asking me if I am going to drink when I turn 21. Ha! Oh hey spotlight/pedestal, no pressure or anything.

I do love those moments when I feel like I can connect with the girls though, remind them that they are beautiful, let them be their crazy selves, and encourage them that boyfriends aren't everything and other various things! I see parts of myself in each of them, the ones who stay behind and have conversations when everyone else goes in the hall to rave/have a dance party - the ones who are super into their classes and middle school choir - the ones who are a little insecure - the ones who love themselves ;) - the younger siblings. It's cool slash scary.

On Wednesday night, we had a devo at the beach and a dad who came on the trip spoke. So, the middle school girls obviously always talk about the boys they like in the youth group, and they are always the guys who are seniors or just graduated! haha!! aka the ones I consider in my age range. Oops. Weird. But at least they are super amazing, solid Christian leaders who they are so interested in. The older guys, and girls, in the youth group are so solid. Anyway, the dad who spoke kind of took a spin off of that and asked the girls to say some names of older guys in the youth group who they thought the jr. high guys should try to be like. He asked the guys the same thing about the older girls. It was so cool to hear their answers.

So today (and most days lately) in the office we were super busy doing little administrative tasks like printing off and organizing maps for Memphis Workcamp next week, making calls, planning events, making lists, etc., which is like totally my comfort zone. I would totally be a secretary for the rest of my life! Ha! I love it. It's about to get crazy though! Next week is Workcamp.

I also found out today that on Sunday mornings for the rest of the summer I am going to be TEACHING 8TH GRADERS ABOUT THE BOOK OF JAMES. This is like one of the scariest things I've done, but the conditions could NOT be more perfect!!!! For a big portion of my middle and high school years, I seriously wanted to teach 8th grade, principally because I am fascinated! / obsessed with middle school culture. It is so interesting to me. So that will be interesting. AND, additionally, I probably know the book of James better than any other book. In January 2006, I started a big push with two of my best friends, Annaleigh and Anna, to read my Bible every day, and we started with the book of James. That definitely changed, shaped, and stabilized me as a Christian teenager.

I am going to need a lot of help in executing a smooth-running, non-awkward class, but if nothing else, I can see this opportunity being one of my biggest learning experiences of the summer.

On another note, I am missing my college friends so much! Most of them are together in California, and I am actually so much more jealous of them right now, than I even was this past year when they were overseas! It's very strange but it's a comfort to know that this is God's place for me right now. Junior year is just getting that much more exciting! :)

Love to all of you!

the beginning

Today was kickoff sunday with the youth group at Highland. Friday night a bunch of girls had a sleepover (first one in the new youth mission!) and painted shirts for the new 7th grade girls (and ourselves), ate pizza and ice cream, duh, watched the movie Sleepover (what a joke), etc. About 15 or 20 girls showed up and it was such a fun group! They are so solid. After falling asleep about about 2:30, we woke up at 5 to leave to go kidnap the new 7th grade girls! It's such a fun tradition (older girls in the youth group sneak into the new 7th grade girls' rooms and wake them up by making a lot of noise, then taking them to breakfast at someone's house. On the route I went on, I drove around 2 girls who are going into 9th grade, who are super sweet and I'm happy that they are starting to feel like my friends! I just love them all! At the breakfast, Brooke and I shared a small devo thought (I shared about Ecclesiastes 4:9-10) and then had a classic youth group "go-around" and a lot of the girls shared how special the youth group has been/is to them, inviting the new 7th graders to be themselves, get involved, and take advantage of such a solid group of teenagers and amazing youth ministers, moms, and adult volunteers (and interns ;) ). They are tiny and adorable. Just love it. Of course it keeps being brought up how "I was in their shoes" and tons of adults and mom-type people keep bringing up how they have known me since I was in diapers! It's funny but also makes me feel so good because Highland is just my HOME! more than anywhere else.

After the breakfast, I obvio took a nap and then we had a swimming party for all the new 7th graders at our children's minister's house. It was kind of their launch from the children's ministry to the youth ministry. Not only am I blessed to work with the 3 most amazing youth ministers (side note: literally can't say how much I love them. They work so well together, are so totally sold for Jesus, and oh are totally genuine and hilarious. What a blessing to not only be able to have had them as my youth leaders and mentors in all of my teenage years, but to get to work with them and be mentored by them as ministers! Talk about learning from the pros), but also Michelle was such a great children's minister and it's literally crazy how much energy she puts into the church!

After the swimming party all the youth ministers and interns went up to the building to decorate and set up for kickoff Sunday which was this morning. After that, I got to meet up with Luke from Pepperdine and his friend Phil because they were driving through Memphis on their way to Malibu! That was so great!!!! Go waves!! We had a limited amount of time together obviously, but I took them to Jerry's and Corky's sooo I'd say it was a pretty good visit. They loved it!

Todayyy was kickoff Sunday and we passed out pillowcases, stuffed with the summer calendar and lots of coupons that Chet has been calling businesses all around town to get (bless his heart and my awk phone skills!!) Our semi-sacreligious summer theme is "That's what Jesus said" (we're talking about the words of Jesus)! Ha! what a joke.

Sometimes I still can't believe it's me that's the intern, but other times I feel so natural. It's definitely different being on this side of it, beginning to understand how and why we do things the way we do them. Why we have so many games, giveaways, cool videos, and technology. Also we have this amazing/ridiculous! new building. I can't handle how cool it is! Definitely still adjusting, but more and more being able to accept it as an enormous blessing and ministry tool, rather than just extravagant. Also Highland is just pretty progressive overall. It's always been fun to watch other interns who grew up in pretty old school c of c's, and their reactions to Highland and HYG. This morning, someone else was baptized! The new building has been open for 5 weeks, and someone has gotten baptized every week so far. Also, side note, if someone gets baptized every week, I will cry every week. Ha, who am I. I have spent a lot a lot of time thinking about the idea of baptism over the past few years, and regardless of my (or anyone else's) theology, I know and believe that it is one of the most special things in the world. The church has def been taking advantage of our resources, and have been making these amazing videos that they show right before someone gets baptized!

I absolutely love it, even though the whole video thing is a little out of the box for traditional c of c (I just never noticed it growing up because that just was the way it was and I loved it) but it is really cool to hear people talk about why they want to get baptized. Good stuff!

Anyway, I knew going into this job that teaching was going to be one of the hardest things that I was going to be doing! Let's be real about my public speaking skills! It doesn't even make me nervous, at all, it's just that either I can't take myself seriously enough to speak, or I take myself too seriously... I don't even know which one. I tell myself that I'm bad at it, too, which I'm realizing makes it ten times worse, and if I were more confident, everyone listening would take me ten times more seriously. That's just a skill/goal that I'm working on this summer. I'm going to be teaching one of the grades on Sunday mornings, but I'm not sure which one yet. By myself! yikes! Of course I know I can do it, but I hope I have enough confidence to feel like I can do a good job! The past two Wednesday nights, Chet and I have kind of tag teamed. The first week we talked about service, and I talked about my experience doing Katrina relief in New Orleans and Romans 12:1. Last week we talked about community (such a Pepperdine buzzword!!!!! omg definitely feel like an expert!) and I talked about how having Jesus in common with someone is the biggest possible thing you can have in common, and how and why I love church, and Ephesians 4. I thought it went pretty well, and people said I did a good job but I'm not quite ready to believe them haha.

This whole thing is a fun new setting to figure out what I'm good at. I know I'm good at being responsible and gentle/approachable. I know I could get better at being creative, confrontational, and fun/energetic. I love love love it when I think of something we need to do or should do that no one else had remembered. I also love little tasks and crossing them off to do lists. Something that I'm ready to jump into is real relationships with teenagers. I have met so many of them but hopefully soon I will be able to start to build some deeper relationships. Something I am really trying to remember (besides focus on God, focus on God, focus on God) is to be real through all of our events and activities this summer, because no amount of games or sleepovers or youtube videos alone will change someone's life. I definitely won't change anyone's life either. It's pretty cool, though, that I will get to (and already am) see God working in teenagers. It is so important to remember that the times we pray together and talk about the Bible together are worth so so so much. Praying so so much for lots of opportunities to talk about what matters.

Tuesday through Thursday we are going to Pensacola, FL with the 7-9th graders. Long car ride and short trip! I am so excited though because it feels like the summer is really really starting instead of just office work (which don't get me wrong, I could do that forever too! haha) but I'm ready to be around the kids. Like every day. Which is good, because I am about to be! Ha. Pray for us!!!

Day 3 - List the five songs you would have with you on a desert island and why.

I have been struggling so much with this post because the 5 songs that I'd want on a desert island might just be completely different than 5 songs I'd pick for anywhere else. I just don't even think I would want music if I were on a desert island, let's be real. Anyway, these are five songs that mean a lot to me, remind me of times and places, and make me think and smile and think to smile. At the risk of being tooo cheesy I will post a few lines from each.

Forever - Ben Harper

People spend so much time
Every single day
Runnin' 'round all over town
Givin' their forever away
But no, not me,
I won't let my forever roam
and now I hope I can find
my forever a home
So give me your forever
Please your forever
Not a day less will do
From you

I have always loved this song! It is just beautiful. Definitely a candidate for a wedding/ first dance. There will be tears.

Just Wait - Blues Traveler

I ask of you a very simple question
Did you think for one minute that you were alone
And is your suffering a privilege you share only
Or did you think that everybody else feels completely at home
Just wait
Just wait
Just wait
And it will come
If you think I've given up on you, you're crazy
And if you think I don't love you well then you're just wrong
In time you might take to feeling better
Time is the beauty of the road being long

I love love love this song, and its message. I listened to it most in 8th and 9th grade and it will always have a special place in my heart and I will always find it comforting.

Drive - Incubus

Sometimes, I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear
And I can't help but ask myself how much I let the fear
Take the wheel and steer
It's driven me before
And it seems to have a vague, haunting mass appeal
But lately I'm beginning to find that I
Should be the one behind the wheel

Not only is old school incubus a guilty pleasure, but this song is just so great. "Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there" is a perfect message for someone who spent the first 18 years of my life avoiding thinking about the future at all costs!

You've Got a Friend - James Taylor

If the sky above you
Should turn dark and full of clouds
And that old north wind should begin to blow
Keep your head together and call my name out loud
And soon I will be knocking upon your door.
You just call out my name and you know where ever I am
I'll come running to see you again.
Winter, Spring, summer or fall
All you got to do is call
And I'll be there, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hey, ain't it good to know that you've got a friend?

James Taylor is almost too much to handle. I just love him. Aside from him being the first artist that I remember hearing playing in my house as a little babe, I just see him a truly real-deal musician who has so much talent and soul. Also this song is just super sweet.

I'm Yours - Jason Mraz

So, i won't hesitate no more,

no more, it cannot wait i'm sure

there's no need to complicate our time is short

this is our fate

I'm yours

I obviously love Jason, but out of all of his songs that I have to choose from, I think I'm yours is just the perfect love song. (!!!!!) Overplayed? Maybe, but I never ever get tired of it. It's just so great. Good songs attached to great memories are just that much better, too! (Live High is a close second - Just take it easy and celebrate the malleable reality. Nothing is ever as it seems, this life is but a dream. Live high, live mighty, live righteously).

Day 2 - Post something that inspires you.

About a year ago, Jason Mraz answered 144 questions on his blog from fans that asked him things over Twitter. I still think about this one often.

halleyrad wonders: Do you ever drive down a street in your home town and try to view if like a tourist might? What would they be thinking?

I’ve only been living in San Diego for 10 years now, and the last few years especially have been spent on the road. So every time I pull into my little beach community I find myself wide-eyed, wowing at the palm trees lining Pacific Coast Highway, in awe of the ocean seen between the salty houses. Having grown up in flat, central Virginia, I’m not used to seeing green rolling hills and snowcapped mountains on the short drive inland from the beach. Being a tourist is quite possibly the best outlook you can have not matter where you are - no matter where you live. When I sign autographs, I often write – Stay Fresh. This is a reminder to not grow numb to the beauty in your own community.

I do my best to admire everything around me. I marvel at what men and women have designed and created. I aim to see everything in my sights as love. People do what they do, build what they build, and paint what they paint because they love it. Out of love they have developed a talent for what it is they do. From the guy who builds pyramids of apples in the produce section, to the guy who runs wires behind walls supplying you with electricity and Internet. Even the graceful gate of the mailman happens because he loves his family and cares to provide for them. He also knows the livelihood of many other families depends on his delivery of important checks, packages, and letters.

In every town around the world, Love happens simultaneously. You don’t have to be on holiday to send someone a postcard. Where you are is a wonderful tourist destination.

That is pretty cool. At Pepperdine we still marvel at the beautiful scenery, even after living there for two years! And as I come home for breaks, I'm attempting to see home in the same "fresh" way. I mean, even though the sun sets every single day, I think it is cool every. single. time. It also inspires me that such a big deal of a musician has these kinds of thoughts.

ALSO, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come. 2 Corinthians 5:17. Praise God for that. Newness is great.

Day 1 - Describe your guilty pleasure.

I've spent four whole days thinking about a really good guilty pleasure to write about. I could talk about MTV dating shows. or Family Guy. or rap music. or fried food. or winning. or feeling popular. or facebook creeping. or sleeping in late. or gossiping. or the Disney channel, or America's Next Top Model, or chocolate. But when it really comes down to it, I could pretend that Starbucks is not a guilty pleasure, but IT JUST IS.

Kids.

Deliver me, O Jesus,
From the desire of being loved,
From the desire of being extolled,
From the desire of being honored,
From the desire of being praised,
From the desire of being preferred,
From the desire of being consulted,
From the desire of being approved,
From the desire of being popular,
From the fear of being humiliated,
From the fear of being despised,
From the fear of suffering rebukes,
From the fear of being calumniated,
From the fear of being forgotten,
From the fear of being wronged,
From the fear of being ridiculed,
From the fear of being suspected.

(Well, I should just go ahead and pray that every day).

Mother Teresa wrote that. I'm reading her book, A Simple Path, and it is... simplifying. Everything.

This past semester in my sociology class, we got the opportunity to talk on a conference call with Rodney Stark, a pretty well-known rational choice theorist and sociologist of religion (we soc majors all geeked out). He wrote our textbook. Whatever, anyway, he was talking about a new book that he's writing. We asked if it was going to be a more technical/academic read, or if just anyone could pick it up and read and understand it. He said, anyone can read it. If I just write in a bunch of sociological jargon, it's worthless. If I am unable to simplify it into common language, then that means I don't understand it.

One of the student speakers at chapel this year started his talk by mentioning a long string of names of authors, philosophers, and theologians that he was well-versed in. Then, be basically ended up saying, sometimes, we're so smart that we're stupid. Maybe the most comforting thing in the world to me, even if it's a little cliche, is that if God were small enough to understand, he would not be big enough to worship.

Sometimes I hide under this comfortable outer shell that I've created of a responsible, level-headed, "serious," reserved woman. I guess that makes it easier to pretend like I know anything about anything. HA!

Sometimes I pretend that I was never a kid, slash have a hard time understanding and relating to kids. What are they?? What I'm learning: They are perfect.

And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven." Matt 18:3


It blows my mind how we seem to try so hard to "un-simplify" things to make ourselves feel smarter, while really what we should be after is faith like a child.

Church

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; BUTTT I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

I wrapped up the semester last week, roadtripped home with my dad, and pulled into Memphis yesterday afternoon. Everything is so green, sunny, and familiar. I've been seeing all the facebook posts from people who just finished their freshman year at Pepperdine, feeling like the world is OVER, that they will NEVER see their friends again (for a year maybe), grieving the loss of their first ever taste of college and independence and Malibu and suite mates and sorority sisters and taco tuesdays and very real encounters with God and personal growth and "real life." It's kinda rough to go home after that kind of goodness. I remember getting home last spring and giving a verrry unconvincing "yes" when people would ask me if I was glad to be back. This time around it's a little easier to be less dramatic. Largely because at this point in my life I at least TRY to take things in stride/as they come. Anyway, most of the time in Memphis on breaks I feel like I'm coming back to haunt my old high school life, but coming back to Memphis feels way more natural this time. Of course I was super dramatic/emotional about friends returning from overseas, other friends graduating and leaving Pepperdine, etc. for pretty much the whole month of April (super "dramatic/emotional" is obv an exaggeration... but still). But the last week I was there really felt peaceful and resolved and as unsettling as possible (by the grace of God), and in the end it was like, ok, it is what it is. And here I am.

I'll miss this:


But I also love this:


In November I got a call from the youth minister at the church I grew up at (highland church of christ). He offered me an internship with the youth group (HYG) for this summer. I was sitting in a study room in Payson library with Kaitlyn and Mimi at the time so I had to be quiet, but I have probably NEVER been so excited about an opportunity! Wait, an INTERN!??? Am I old enough to do that? I think of all the youth group interns who have ever been a part of my life since I started the youth group in 2002. More than 20 college students who have taken a summer to 100% focus on the youth group kids and literally make those summers the best months of my life. Getting offered to BE one of them was super flattering and exciting, because all of the interns I can remember are some of the coolest people I have ever known. Of course, the school year went on and kind of occupied my attention, a lot, but now that I am back home with nothing else to think about, I am so excited for this amazing opportunity to invest in the lives of teenagers (since I myself am only a teenager for 15 more days... sooo grown up... not), expend ALL my energy on loving and serving people, and most importantly, learning about MINISTRY.

At Pepperdine, the word LEADERSHIP is thrown around a LOT. While I consider myself a leader, even as class president, my friends and I continually joked about “What even is leadership!?” That might have been what got me thinking about “MINISTRY.” Wait, what? Ministry? Me? I mess up all the time… I don’t know anything about anything… I doubt God… I try to do things myself… I judge people… I complain… I insist on being the best… I worry… I gossip… I give myself credit for the things I do. What could I ever say to this group of teenagers who socially and spiritually “got it goin on.” But a few months of thinking, and praying about it, a LOT, as well as some epically God-sent mentors and friends in my life, I grew so much more at peace and confident about this being my place to be and grow and love and serve during this season of my life. And now that it’s soon and real, I am SERIOUSLY so excited!!! What a great feeling to know that you are where God wants you to be, using your strengths and stretching your weaknesses into more strengths.


Last night I went to HYG's wednesday night worship. Several things:
1. Those kids love their youth group so much. There was so much energy in the room.
2. They listen. As soon as I got home my newsfeed on facebook was filled with kids quoting the sermon.
3. They are obvio teenagers and laugh at things the word “but” in between the two phrases in John 10:10, when the speaker says, “There’s a BIG BUT, and you’re going to like it.”

:) Seriously so much fun. Highland just moved into to the new building that has been in progress for the past 2.5ish years. I never thought that 7 years ago when the church first spoke of moving to a new building, that it would be happening now and that I would get to have such a fun part of the youth group’s first summer there. We as a church definitely learned over the past few years that a church is not a building, but I think we’ve also learned that a building is a really helpful tool for ministry. Also, I’ve at least a little bit gotten over the whole anti-institutional kick that I feel like everyone (at least everyone I kinda know) goes through, and I seriously love church.

No where else feels more like home.

Praying that God will do big big things this summer and that I wouldn’t let fear get in the way of letting him speak through me in whatever way he chooses.


Lessons learned:

1. It's hard not to be sad about good things ending, but
2. Life goes on and
3. God is there.
4. And when God doesn’t want people to leave your life permanently, he won’t let them
5. And He knows what he's doing
6. And it is beyond me to understand it, but
7. Life goes on and
8. God is there.

Clouds in Malibu don't have to mean an ominous final week.

heaven

Ever wonder what heaven will be like? I do... Hopefully a combination of these:

almost done

Well, I just turned in my final assignment of my semester. On one hand I feel like if I learn nothing else from my time at Pepperdine, I'll be satisfied with my ability to perfectly parallel park on a hill just from living in Towers for a year. On the other hand I'm crying (metaphorically) out of excitement about the new knowledge I have and the fact that I now know what gets me excited (sociology) and the fact that I get to take more classes about it next year. How cool is college?

April has been so good. Having Hannah around has been so so good and my heart feels so much more whole! Another LAX reunion with a friend I haven't seen since September is happening tonight and I couldn't be more excited.

As our class slowly pieces back together, everything feels so much more whole--but just in time for the seniors to graduate and a lot of the freshman to go overseas. What even is Pepperdine? It's such a dilemma. There have been so many "senior recognition" events in the past couple of weeks and it doesn't even get repetitive or annoying, just more and more emotional (but slash a little exciting). At UM on Tuesday night one of the seniors talked about how the big elephant in the room was that we're probably mostly not going to see each other ever again...? BUT, for those of us who are Christians, that simply is not true. First of all, duh, but second of all, whoa. That really stuck with me. Tuesday night worship with the UM community all day long forever in heaven? Yes please. Also, last night at Collide Thomas talked about how even though we're so sad to see them go, the world needs them, real bad. Such a good group :).

Everything is wrapping up around campus. SGA is done. We had our little SGA banquet and honored the E-board and celebrated a successful year. I'm so so glad/grateful to have had the chance to be a part of such a fun/productive/interesting group. I never ever ever ever would have thought that I would get to be a class president? In college? At Pepperdine? Awesome. I knew it was going to be a growing experience, and now that it's over, there's nothing I love more than looking back and seeing exactly how it was a growing experience. I know so much more about how I handle stress, work with people (!!!), make decisions, attempt to be poised and graceful, form and express my opinion, and rejoice in both victories and failures. At this point I still have my hands in the air like I just don't care in regards to what I'm "doing" next year, like besides classes. Last night one of the seniors at Collide pointed out that we should rejoice in failures and disappointments because it's during those times that we feel most aware and can most clearly see that God's plan is different (bigger/better) than our own. That's pretty cool. Can't wait to see that plan revealed, though, obviously. Another life lesson of 09-10 = patience. Cool.

Anyway, I've already started to attempt to pack up my room as a form of procrastination...sad. However I am very excited about living in a real apartment (on campus) next year with people that I like a lot and with a kitchen... perfect opportunity to pretend like we're grown ups but not actually have to be at all. Oh also, I'm beginning the new chapter of being in my twenties...so that's cool.

Life... what a thing.

We will have love,

We will have pains

There will be days and days and days that feel the same.

We will have fear,

We will have joy

There may be little girls and little boys

We will have friends

We will have peace

There will be nights of lights and music til you sleep

We will be strong

But we will still break

We'll live through so much more than we could take

Amen, amen

With the dawn we all begin again

Amen, amen

What is done and yet to come, amen

Special thanks to Dave Barnes's new album for being the perfect soundtrack to my week.