the beginning

Today was kickoff sunday with the youth group at Highland. Friday night a bunch of girls had a sleepover (first one in the new youth mission!) and painted shirts for the new 7th grade girls (and ourselves), ate pizza and ice cream, duh, watched the movie Sleepover (what a joke), etc. About 15 or 20 girls showed up and it was such a fun group! They are so solid. After falling asleep about about 2:30, we woke up at 5 to leave to go kidnap the new 7th grade girls! It's such a fun tradition (older girls in the youth group sneak into the new 7th grade girls' rooms and wake them up by making a lot of noise, then taking them to breakfast at someone's house. On the route I went on, I drove around 2 girls who are going into 9th grade, who are super sweet and I'm happy that they are starting to feel like my friends! I just love them all! At the breakfast, Brooke and I shared a small devo thought (I shared about Ecclesiastes 4:9-10) and then had a classic youth group "go-around" and a lot of the girls shared how special the youth group has been/is to them, inviting the new 7th graders to be themselves, get involved, and take advantage of such a solid group of teenagers and amazing youth ministers, moms, and adult volunteers (and interns ;) ). They are tiny and adorable. Just love it. Of course it keeps being brought up how "I was in their shoes" and tons of adults and mom-type people keep bringing up how they have known me since I was in diapers! It's funny but also makes me feel so good because Highland is just my HOME! more than anywhere else.

After the breakfast, I obvio took a nap and then we had a swimming party for all the new 7th graders at our children's minister's house. It was kind of their launch from the children's ministry to the youth ministry. Not only am I blessed to work with the 3 most amazing youth ministers (side note: literally can't say how much I love them. They work so well together, are so totally sold for Jesus, and oh are totally genuine and hilarious. What a blessing to not only be able to have had them as my youth leaders and mentors in all of my teenage years, but to get to work with them and be mentored by them as ministers! Talk about learning from the pros), but also Michelle was such a great children's minister and it's literally crazy how much energy she puts into the church!

After the swimming party all the youth ministers and interns went up to the building to decorate and set up for kickoff Sunday which was this morning. After that, I got to meet up with Luke from Pepperdine and his friend Phil because they were driving through Memphis on their way to Malibu! That was so great!!!! Go waves!! We had a limited amount of time together obviously, but I took them to Jerry's and Corky's sooo I'd say it was a pretty good visit. They loved it!

Todayyy was kickoff Sunday and we passed out pillowcases, stuffed with the summer calendar and lots of coupons that Chet has been calling businesses all around town to get (bless his heart and my awk phone skills!!) Our semi-sacreligious summer theme is "That's what Jesus said" (we're talking about the words of Jesus)! Ha! what a joke.

Sometimes I still can't believe it's me that's the intern, but other times I feel so natural. It's definitely different being on this side of it, beginning to understand how and why we do things the way we do them. Why we have so many games, giveaways, cool videos, and technology. Also we have this amazing/ridiculous! new building. I can't handle how cool it is! Definitely still adjusting, but more and more being able to accept it as an enormous blessing and ministry tool, rather than just extravagant. Also Highland is just pretty progressive overall. It's always been fun to watch other interns who grew up in pretty old school c of c's, and their reactions to Highland and HYG. This morning, someone else was baptized! The new building has been open for 5 weeks, and someone has gotten baptized every week so far. Also, side note, if someone gets baptized every week, I will cry every week. Ha, who am I. I have spent a lot a lot of time thinking about the idea of baptism over the past few years, and regardless of my (or anyone else's) theology, I know and believe that it is one of the most special things in the world. The church has def been taking advantage of our resources, and have been making these amazing videos that they show right before someone gets baptized!

I absolutely love it, even though the whole video thing is a little out of the box for traditional c of c (I just never noticed it growing up because that just was the way it was and I loved it) but it is really cool to hear people talk about why they want to get baptized. Good stuff!

Anyway, I knew going into this job that teaching was going to be one of the hardest things that I was going to be doing! Let's be real about my public speaking skills! It doesn't even make me nervous, at all, it's just that either I can't take myself seriously enough to speak, or I take myself too seriously... I don't even know which one. I tell myself that I'm bad at it, too, which I'm realizing makes it ten times worse, and if I were more confident, everyone listening would take me ten times more seriously. That's just a skill/goal that I'm working on this summer. I'm going to be teaching one of the grades on Sunday mornings, but I'm not sure which one yet. By myself! yikes! Of course I know I can do it, but I hope I have enough confidence to feel like I can do a good job! The past two Wednesday nights, Chet and I have kind of tag teamed. The first week we talked about service, and I talked about my experience doing Katrina relief in New Orleans and Romans 12:1. Last week we talked about community (such a Pepperdine buzzword!!!!! omg definitely feel like an expert!) and I talked about how having Jesus in common with someone is the biggest possible thing you can have in common, and how and why I love church, and Ephesians 4. I thought it went pretty well, and people said I did a good job but I'm not quite ready to believe them haha.

This whole thing is a fun new setting to figure out what I'm good at. I know I'm good at being responsible and gentle/approachable. I know I could get better at being creative, confrontational, and fun/energetic. I love love love it when I think of something we need to do or should do that no one else had remembered. I also love little tasks and crossing them off to do lists. Something that I'm ready to jump into is real relationships with teenagers. I have met so many of them but hopefully soon I will be able to start to build some deeper relationships. Something I am really trying to remember (besides focus on God, focus on God, focus on God) is to be real through all of our events and activities this summer, because no amount of games or sleepovers or youtube videos alone will change someone's life. I definitely won't change anyone's life either. It's pretty cool, though, that I will get to (and already am) see God working in teenagers. It is so important to remember that the times we pray together and talk about the Bible together are worth so so so much. Praying so so much for lots of opportunities to talk about what matters.

Tuesday through Thursday we are going to Pensacola, FL with the 7-9th graders. Long car ride and short trip! I am so excited though because it feels like the summer is really really starting instead of just office work (which don't get me wrong, I could do that forever too! haha) but I'm ready to be around the kids. Like every day. Which is good, because I am about to be! Ha. Pray for us!!!

Day 3 - List the five songs you would have with you on a desert island and why.

I have been struggling so much with this post because the 5 songs that I'd want on a desert island might just be completely different than 5 songs I'd pick for anywhere else. I just don't even think I would want music if I were on a desert island, let's be real. Anyway, these are five songs that mean a lot to me, remind me of times and places, and make me think and smile and think to smile. At the risk of being tooo cheesy I will post a few lines from each.

Forever - Ben Harper

People spend so much time
Every single day
Runnin' 'round all over town
Givin' their forever away
But no, not me,
I won't let my forever roam
and now I hope I can find
my forever a home
So give me your forever
Please your forever
Not a day less will do
From you

I have always loved this song! It is just beautiful. Definitely a candidate for a wedding/ first dance. There will be tears.

Just Wait - Blues Traveler

I ask of you a very simple question
Did you think for one minute that you were alone
And is your suffering a privilege you share only
Or did you think that everybody else feels completely at home
Just wait
Just wait
Just wait
And it will come
If you think I've given up on you, you're crazy
And if you think I don't love you well then you're just wrong
In time you might take to feeling better
Time is the beauty of the road being long

I love love love this song, and its message. I listened to it most in 8th and 9th grade and it will always have a special place in my heart and I will always find it comforting.

Drive - Incubus

Sometimes, I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear
And I can't help but ask myself how much I let the fear
Take the wheel and steer
It's driven me before
And it seems to have a vague, haunting mass appeal
But lately I'm beginning to find that I
Should be the one behind the wheel

Not only is old school incubus a guilty pleasure, but this song is just so great. "Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there" is a perfect message for someone who spent the first 18 years of my life avoiding thinking about the future at all costs!

You've Got a Friend - James Taylor

If the sky above you
Should turn dark and full of clouds
And that old north wind should begin to blow
Keep your head together and call my name out loud
And soon I will be knocking upon your door.
You just call out my name and you know where ever I am
I'll come running to see you again.
Winter, Spring, summer or fall
All you got to do is call
And I'll be there, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hey, ain't it good to know that you've got a friend?

James Taylor is almost too much to handle. I just love him. Aside from him being the first artist that I remember hearing playing in my house as a little babe, I just see him a truly real-deal musician who has so much talent and soul. Also this song is just super sweet.

I'm Yours - Jason Mraz

So, i won't hesitate no more,

no more, it cannot wait i'm sure

there's no need to complicate our time is short

this is our fate

I'm yours

I obviously love Jason, but out of all of his songs that I have to choose from, I think I'm yours is just the perfect love song. (!!!!!) Overplayed? Maybe, but I never ever get tired of it. It's just so great. Good songs attached to great memories are just that much better, too! (Live High is a close second - Just take it easy and celebrate the malleable reality. Nothing is ever as it seems, this life is but a dream. Live high, live mighty, live righteously).

Day 2 - Post something that inspires you.

About a year ago, Jason Mraz answered 144 questions on his blog from fans that asked him things over Twitter. I still think about this one often.

halleyrad wonders: Do you ever drive down a street in your home town and try to view if like a tourist might? What would they be thinking?

I’ve only been living in San Diego for 10 years now, and the last few years especially have been spent on the road. So every time I pull into my little beach community I find myself wide-eyed, wowing at the palm trees lining Pacific Coast Highway, in awe of the ocean seen between the salty houses. Having grown up in flat, central Virginia, I’m not used to seeing green rolling hills and snowcapped mountains on the short drive inland from the beach. Being a tourist is quite possibly the best outlook you can have not matter where you are - no matter where you live. When I sign autographs, I often write – Stay Fresh. This is a reminder to not grow numb to the beauty in your own community.

I do my best to admire everything around me. I marvel at what men and women have designed and created. I aim to see everything in my sights as love. People do what they do, build what they build, and paint what they paint because they love it. Out of love they have developed a talent for what it is they do. From the guy who builds pyramids of apples in the produce section, to the guy who runs wires behind walls supplying you with electricity and Internet. Even the graceful gate of the mailman happens because he loves his family and cares to provide for them. He also knows the livelihood of many other families depends on his delivery of important checks, packages, and letters.

In every town around the world, Love happens simultaneously. You don’t have to be on holiday to send someone a postcard. Where you are is a wonderful tourist destination.

That is pretty cool. At Pepperdine we still marvel at the beautiful scenery, even after living there for two years! And as I come home for breaks, I'm attempting to see home in the same "fresh" way. I mean, even though the sun sets every single day, I think it is cool every. single. time. It also inspires me that such a big deal of a musician has these kinds of thoughts.

ALSO, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come. 2 Corinthians 5:17. Praise God for that. Newness is great.

Day 1 - Describe your guilty pleasure.

I've spent four whole days thinking about a really good guilty pleasure to write about. I could talk about MTV dating shows. or Family Guy. or rap music. or fried food. or winning. or feeling popular. or facebook creeping. or sleeping in late. or gossiping. or the Disney channel, or America's Next Top Model, or chocolate. But when it really comes down to it, I could pretend that Starbucks is not a guilty pleasure, but IT JUST IS.

Kids.

Deliver me, O Jesus,
From the desire of being loved,
From the desire of being extolled,
From the desire of being honored,
From the desire of being praised,
From the desire of being preferred,
From the desire of being consulted,
From the desire of being approved,
From the desire of being popular,
From the fear of being humiliated,
From the fear of being despised,
From the fear of suffering rebukes,
From the fear of being calumniated,
From the fear of being forgotten,
From the fear of being wronged,
From the fear of being ridiculed,
From the fear of being suspected.

(Well, I should just go ahead and pray that every day).

Mother Teresa wrote that. I'm reading her book, A Simple Path, and it is... simplifying. Everything.

This past semester in my sociology class, we got the opportunity to talk on a conference call with Rodney Stark, a pretty well-known rational choice theorist and sociologist of religion (we soc majors all geeked out). He wrote our textbook. Whatever, anyway, he was talking about a new book that he's writing. We asked if it was going to be a more technical/academic read, or if just anyone could pick it up and read and understand it. He said, anyone can read it. If I just write in a bunch of sociological jargon, it's worthless. If I am unable to simplify it into common language, then that means I don't understand it.

One of the student speakers at chapel this year started his talk by mentioning a long string of names of authors, philosophers, and theologians that he was well-versed in. Then, be basically ended up saying, sometimes, we're so smart that we're stupid. Maybe the most comforting thing in the world to me, even if it's a little cliche, is that if God were small enough to understand, he would not be big enough to worship.

Sometimes I hide under this comfortable outer shell that I've created of a responsible, level-headed, "serious," reserved woman. I guess that makes it easier to pretend like I know anything about anything. HA!

Sometimes I pretend that I was never a kid, slash have a hard time understanding and relating to kids. What are they?? What I'm learning: They are perfect.

And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven." Matt 18:3


It blows my mind how we seem to try so hard to "un-simplify" things to make ourselves feel smarter, while really what we should be after is faith like a child.

Church

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; BUTTT I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

I wrapped up the semester last week, roadtripped home with my dad, and pulled into Memphis yesterday afternoon. Everything is so green, sunny, and familiar. I've been seeing all the facebook posts from people who just finished their freshman year at Pepperdine, feeling like the world is OVER, that they will NEVER see their friends again (for a year maybe), grieving the loss of their first ever taste of college and independence and Malibu and suite mates and sorority sisters and taco tuesdays and very real encounters with God and personal growth and "real life." It's kinda rough to go home after that kind of goodness. I remember getting home last spring and giving a verrry unconvincing "yes" when people would ask me if I was glad to be back. This time around it's a little easier to be less dramatic. Largely because at this point in my life I at least TRY to take things in stride/as they come. Anyway, most of the time in Memphis on breaks I feel like I'm coming back to haunt my old high school life, but coming back to Memphis feels way more natural this time. Of course I was super dramatic/emotional about friends returning from overseas, other friends graduating and leaving Pepperdine, etc. for pretty much the whole month of April (super "dramatic/emotional" is obv an exaggeration... but still). But the last week I was there really felt peaceful and resolved and as unsettling as possible (by the grace of God), and in the end it was like, ok, it is what it is. And here I am.

I'll miss this:


But I also love this:


In November I got a call from the youth minister at the church I grew up at (highland church of christ). He offered me an internship with the youth group (HYG) for this summer. I was sitting in a study room in Payson library with Kaitlyn and Mimi at the time so I had to be quiet, but I have probably NEVER been so excited about an opportunity! Wait, an INTERN!??? Am I old enough to do that? I think of all the youth group interns who have ever been a part of my life since I started the youth group in 2002. More than 20 college students who have taken a summer to 100% focus on the youth group kids and literally make those summers the best months of my life. Getting offered to BE one of them was super flattering and exciting, because all of the interns I can remember are some of the coolest people I have ever known. Of course, the school year went on and kind of occupied my attention, a lot, but now that I am back home with nothing else to think about, I am so excited for this amazing opportunity to invest in the lives of teenagers (since I myself am only a teenager for 15 more days... sooo grown up... not), expend ALL my energy on loving and serving people, and most importantly, learning about MINISTRY.

At Pepperdine, the word LEADERSHIP is thrown around a LOT. While I consider myself a leader, even as class president, my friends and I continually joked about “What even is leadership!?” That might have been what got me thinking about “MINISTRY.” Wait, what? Ministry? Me? I mess up all the time… I don’t know anything about anything… I doubt God… I try to do things myself… I judge people… I complain… I insist on being the best… I worry… I gossip… I give myself credit for the things I do. What could I ever say to this group of teenagers who socially and spiritually “got it goin on.” But a few months of thinking, and praying about it, a LOT, as well as some epically God-sent mentors and friends in my life, I grew so much more at peace and confident about this being my place to be and grow and love and serve during this season of my life. And now that it’s soon and real, I am SERIOUSLY so excited!!! What a great feeling to know that you are where God wants you to be, using your strengths and stretching your weaknesses into more strengths.


Last night I went to HYG's wednesday night worship. Several things:
1. Those kids love their youth group so much. There was so much energy in the room.
2. They listen. As soon as I got home my newsfeed on facebook was filled with kids quoting the sermon.
3. They are obvio teenagers and laugh at things the word “but” in between the two phrases in John 10:10, when the speaker says, “There’s a BIG BUT, and you’re going to like it.”

:) Seriously so much fun. Highland just moved into to the new building that has been in progress for the past 2.5ish years. I never thought that 7 years ago when the church first spoke of moving to a new building, that it would be happening now and that I would get to have such a fun part of the youth group’s first summer there. We as a church definitely learned over the past few years that a church is not a building, but I think we’ve also learned that a building is a really helpful tool for ministry. Also, I’ve at least a little bit gotten over the whole anti-institutional kick that I feel like everyone (at least everyone I kinda know) goes through, and I seriously love church.

No where else feels more like home.

Praying that God will do big big things this summer and that I wouldn’t let fear get in the way of letting him speak through me in whatever way he chooses.


Lessons learned:

1. It's hard not to be sad about good things ending, but
2. Life goes on and
3. God is there.
4. And when God doesn’t want people to leave your life permanently, he won’t let them
5. And He knows what he's doing
6. And it is beyond me to understand it, but
7. Life goes on and
8. God is there.